Drivers

Men (and many women) are driven by a need to feel important, to have status. And this need is probably associated with sex, because women are often attracted to partners with status. We all want to be unique, distinct but in a "good" way. In fact, our feelings encourage us to feel different.

We all adopt different strategies to achieve status. Some pump iron. Some want to become famous. Others drive big cars. And unfortunately, some carry weapons. The list continues.

Saying that; I'm probably writing this for a desire of importance! Oh well, their goes my altruistic ideals.

Men have a strong emotional driver to have sex. Nothing new there. Women too have a driver to have sex. In fact, although debatable, I have a belief that the act of having sex for men is actually associated with the "importance" driver.

I've had relationships with women that showed me less affection; which often caused me to want more sex. Women that smother me in love often cause me to want less. So it's a paradigm and an annoying one at that. The act of having sex is one that improves your self-perceived status.

Nature wants men to have sex with a lot of partners thus ensuring the survival of the species through gene adaption, and population growth. But the species is not currently at risk of under-population; so this represents another ancient artefact. Nature is a control freak; and wants to ensure we carry out our duties. We struggle to rationalise it, it sometimes fly's in the face of common sense but it's going to make us feel pretty crap if we don't work out want to do.

This is one reason why one-night-stands normally are only that. After the "sex" bit is out of the way, the Man has no reason to spend any more time with the women. It may sound callous, but it's just how we feel, although many don't like feeling it!

Obviously a successful relationship should enable the Man to get to know the Women; by finding their companionship enjoyable (excluding sex), when the "sex" thing is done, something exists for the couple to want to see each other again.

Women have known the strategy to protect against this. "Do not sleep with him on the first date!"

So an important driver is to gain status (respected, entertaining, rich, famous, brainy, loved, popular, well endowered, muscular…etc.).