The going-out dichotomy

Be careful about filling your time with attempting to find a mate. Many men, especially young men, spend a considerable amount of time out "on the pull". Although this can be a pleasurable pursuit it can lead to problems when you eventually find someone you like.

Simply ask yourself the question that if all the "pulling" activities were removed from your life-style, what would remain? And is the remaining sufficient to develop your new life-style when you meet the right partner?

Firstly lets remind ourselves that when the brain is bored it thinks of the things it wants to fix, potentially leading to feelings of paranoia or unhappiness.

In a life-style focused on finding a partner you will be left with very little to do when you do actually find your partner. If you happen to want to find someone who is independent and has their own life you may find that you do not.

If you haven't developed your own "non-pulling" interests, you may find yourself getting bored with too much time to think about what your partner is doing. Possibly damaging what may otherwise be a good relationship.

Try and encourage your friends to play a sport, pop round theirs for a coffee and a chat, join a club, get a new qualification, learn a new language…..the world has a lot to offer the person who is happy to accept it.